Tag Archives: In Bloom

Toilet Alarm Clock – Part 1

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

(Continued from In Bloom)

I woke up to the glaring sunlight streaming through my window.  My head felt like it got into a fight with a brick wall, and lost.  As I was cringing to the repulsive taste in my mouth, I squinted and saw that the clock read 10 Am.  Aw, hell naw.  Way too early for a night dweller like myself.  I had made the rookie mistake of leaving my blinds open.  They must be closed, at once.  Like a wounded animal, I rolled out of bed and slowly made my way to the window.  From my back, I reached up and spun the blinds closed.  Laying there, catching my breath from all of the barrel rolls, I felt like I too could see Blue.  Contemplating whether or not to just set up camp there for awhile, the post it on the wall caught my attention.

It was funny to see how crappy my hand writing was after having a couple of beverages.  I was relieved that I did it, though, because I didn’t remember the observation I had made about the group of girls.  Yeah, pinning it to the wall was a little unnecessary, but . . . yeah.  Really have nothing else to add on there.  I really wanted to get some people’s opinion of my product idea.  But, my room had just turned into a dark cave.  So, that was gonna have to wait  for a couple hours.

Most people wake up to the birds chirping.  Not me.  I am awaken every afternoon by a much less delightful noise.  The wall in my room is connected to the bathroom and I am reminded of that with each blaring toilet flush.  It’s usually a series of 5 or 6 flushes because of the 12 pack and 4 chimichangas my roommate had the night before.  It gets even lovelier when he bangs on my door and proclaims “Put some wings on me, I can fly now that I’m so much lighter!”  I can’t believe that this is my alarm clock . . .

I usually would have told him to f off and went back to sleep.  Not today though.  “Come in here batman”.  He opens the door and attempts to jump on my face; ass first.  Fortunately, he misses and bounces onto the ground.  “Dude, listen to this.  I came up with a brilliant idea last night.”  “Doubt it“.  “Screw you, listen.”  I disclosed the privileged information to him.  “That’s stupid.  Drive me to Burger King“.  Are you serious, it’s a great idea.”  “Yeah, not really.  I’ll be waiting downstairs.

He’s a guy, he doesn’t understand that girls will like it.  I then decided to call a trusted adviser.  She’ll get it.  I told her about the product.  Not bad.”  “That’s all you got?”  “Well, it could work.  But, it takes a lot of money to start up a business.  And you’re broke.”  “Thanks for the positivity.  I’m going to get a prototype made.  You’re going to have to test it out for me.”  “We’ll see.”  I already knew from the little time I spent brainstorming about the idea that it was going to be a long process to get the product on the market.  But, I didn’t know it would be so difficult to get people to buy into the idea.  I knew it was a good idea and people would realize it; they just needed something tangible to look at.  I absolutely hate doing research but knew I had to find a manufacturer to make a sample.  This is going to suck . . .

Continue to Toilet Alarm Clock – Part 2 . . .

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I’m interested to hear from you about your college experience.  Did you also have hilarious roommates?

Post your responses here in the comments section, on twitter, on facebook, or within the MadCap facebook group!  Thanks, I look forward to discussing this with you!

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In Bloom

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

(Continued from The Christening Of The MadCap)

A wave of excitement was crashing down on me as I dashed through the night back to my place.  This is it, I finally have something tangible.  The steady onslaught of warm impulses shooting through my body were heightening the urgency to get the idea written down.  I wasn’t exactly in the ideal mindset for remembering specific thoughts.  My boiling anxiousness took a hold of my legs and injected them with a shot of nitrous.  As I was jogging staggering through the street, I received some much needed reassurance for my second-guessing mind.

A group of ladies were crossing the street.  Wowww, they could really use it.  As I was shamelessly patting myself on the back for the idea, my trance was broken by a friendly greeting.  Want to take a picture, it’ll last longer?  I tipped my hat, “sorry”!  I’m a complete idiot.  Hmm, interesting thing to note.  Girls spend hours getting dressed up before they go out.  One would think that they do this to stand out.  But, if you happen to be looking in their direction for too long, you better prepare to get yelled at.  There must be some sort of window-of-time you can look at a person rule that I’m unaware of.  Nonetheless, this tidbit should definitely be incorporated into the concept.  It has to look good, but not cause anyone to stare at them; no matter what.  Damnit, why couldn’t I thought of something for guys . . .

I finally made it back to my place.  What the . . . no one ever locks the door.  I reached in my pocket for my key; wasn’t there.  This can’t be happening.  I frantically paced around in a circle, contemplating my options.  Fully aware of my brain’s sub par capability of retaining any thought for more than 5 minutes, I quickly accepted the first solution that came to mind.  I took off my shirt and wrapped it around my hand.  Tyson Time.  I shattered the glass, reached in, and unlocked the door.  I stood in disbelief that I now knew how to break into a house if I ever hit rock bottom.  Putting my shirt back on, I strangely felt like a G.  I’m just kidding, the door was actually wide open when I showed up.  Gotcha.  However, I really did trip on my way up the stairs.  The combination of running and beer gave me a head rush.

Mission accomplished.  I got pen to paper.  This idea will forever live on you Mr. Sticky Note.  I tacked it to the wall so there wasn’t any chance of losing it.  My subconscious in these situations really deserves a round of applause.  It identifies that it is dealing with a dunce and sets up necessary measures to avoid disasters.  Without it, I’d probably wake up on some random persons couch to them screaming.

Ah, what a relief.  I need to get someone’s opinion on this . . . I glanced at the clock and saw it was past 2am.  That’s alright, it’s Thirsty Thursday, who wouldn’t be up right now?  I dialed my sisters number.  It’s a fair argument that she got shafted by getting me as a brother.  What do you want?  You won’t believe what happened tonight.  Did you get kicked out of school?  Nooo . . . I came up with a brilliant idea.  Yeah, just like all the others right.  No seriously, this is something girls would buy.  Are you f****** serious, this is why you called me?  I have to go to work in 5 hours a******!  Damn, that was a a****** move on my part.  But, she hadn’t hung up yet.  Sorrrry, listen real quick.  I disclosed the privileged information to her.  Isn’t that something you would buy?  Sure.  Sooo, you’re telling me there’s a chance!?  Yeah. I hate you.  She hung up.  I gave a Tiger Woods fist pump.  I have a chance, that’s all I need.

I slumped into my bed with a grin on my face.  The best inventions are the ones that solve a problem.  That’s exactly what I got.  I instantly thought of the CNBC profile of the 1 800 Got Junk story.  The CEO of the company stated that he got the idea for the service when he was in a drive-thru at a McDonald’s and saw a pick up truck with junk piled in it’s bed.  He theorized that there had to be a better way for people to get rid of their junk.  In bloom, a multimillion dollar business.

As I was laying there, finally breathing normally after all the running, I started to realize my recent actions provided yet another example of my idiocy.  I could have just typed the idea into my cell and still been at the party. 

I squinted at the post-it on the wall and crossed my fingers that I would be able to decipher it in the morning.  Take note, subconscious.

Continue to Toilet Alarm Clock – Part1 . . .

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Have you ever been in a rush to get something important written down?  Please comment!

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