Tag Archives: business

Sorry, Keep the Champagne on Ice – Part 1

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

(Continued from Toilet Alarm Clock – Part 2)

Parents change your poo diapers, listen to you when your voice changes to an annoying Michael Jackson pitch, and invest in you going to college.  They grin and bear through this ever long sentence in purgatory in hopes that you gain some semblance of a skill in college and land a job.  Then, they can finally belt out “Victory!”  Champagne is popped and at last, relief.

I was cognizant of that as I was pacing around thinking of the best way to pitch the idea to my Dad.  In my parents minds, the long awaited boot-to-ass day is so close that they can almost taste the Cristal. The last thing they’d want to hear is that I want to start a business.  That would definitely keep the bottle on ice for awhile.  Well, damn, I want to move out too.  Hell with champagne, I’m going to be celebrating with several sets of keg stands.  Sure, it’s going to extend my stay, but its too good to leave on the back burner.  This baby needs to immediately be thrown into the deep frier.  Its marinated and ready to be devoured.  I stood still.  Why am I arguing with myself?  I need to come up with something.  I concluded the best thing to do was check out clips of the show “The Apprentice” on youtube.

Thinking that I could get some good ideas on how to pitch an idea, I realized that this was the worst thing I could have watched.  The Donald completely craps on everything the contestants had to say.  Fortunately, my Dad is bald doesn’t have a severed skunk’s tail sitting on his head like The Donald.  So, it might not be as bad.  Hopefully.

My Dad was going to arrive any minute to pick me up for the monster truck rally we had tickets to.  I needed to have a strategy ready because I knew how he would respond.  Businesses take forever to start, you need a lot of start up money, there’s probably something already like it, and you don’t know anything about business.  Taking a step back, I knew that they all were fair points; other than the something already like it part.  Rather than combat every point he made, I decided it would be better to counter with a tried and true method The ol’,  “Look what they did.  If they can do it then I can.”  The success-story- strategy (try saying that 5 times fast) can be a deal closer if used correctly.  I had a specific story in mind that was similar to my situation.  This will show that it is realistic to think that it can work.

With this “wing and a prayer” plan in my back pocket, I went to eagerly await outside.  While waiting, I felt like I was about to try out for a sports team.  I had to prove that I had something viable in order to make the cut.  It was important to have my Dad on board with this venture to bestow his decades of business smarts.  And, obviously, help out with some start up cheese.  I could see my Dad’s ’71 Charger howling down the hill.  I crossed my fingers.  Hopefully the rally cars are the only things that get crushed today.

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Toilet Alarm Clock – Part 1

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

(Continued from In Bloom)

I woke up to the glaring sunlight streaming through my window.  My head felt like it got into a fight with a brick wall, and lost.  As I was cringing to the repulsive taste in my mouth, I squinted and saw that the clock read 10 Am.  Aw, hell naw.  Way too early for a night dweller like myself.  I had made the rookie mistake of leaving my blinds open.  They must be closed, at once.  Like a wounded animal, I rolled out of bed and slowly made my way to the window.  From my back, I reached up and spun the blinds closed.  Laying there, catching my breath from all of the barrel rolls, I felt like I too could see Blue.  Contemplating whether or not to just set up camp there for awhile, the post it on the wall caught my attention.

It was funny to see how crappy my hand writing was after having a couple of beverages.  I was relieved that I did it, though, because I didn’t remember the observation I had made about the group of girls.  Yeah, pinning it to the wall was a little unnecessary, but . . . yeah.  Really have nothing else to add on there.  I really wanted to get some people’s opinion of my product idea.  But, my room had just turned into a dark cave.  So, that was gonna have to wait  for a couple hours.

Most people wake up to the birds chirping.  Not me.  I am awaken every afternoon by a much less delightful noise.  The wall in my room is connected to the bathroom and I am reminded of that with each blaring toilet flush.  It’s usually a series of 5 or 6 flushes because of the 12 pack and 4 chimichangas my roommate had the night before.  It gets even lovelier when he bangs on my door and proclaims “Put some wings on me, I can fly now that I’m so much lighter!”  I can’t believe that this is my alarm clock . . .

I usually would have told him to f off and went back to sleep.  Not today though.  “Come in here batman”.  He opens the door and attempts to jump on my face; ass first.  Fortunately, he misses and bounces onto the ground.  “Dude, listen to this.  I came up with a brilliant idea last night.”  “Doubt it“.  “Screw you, listen.”  I disclosed the privileged information to him.  “That’s stupid.  Drive me to Burger King“.  Are you serious, it’s a great idea.”  “Yeah, not really.  I’ll be waiting downstairs.

He’s a guy, he doesn’t understand that girls will like it.  I then decided to call a trusted adviser.  She’ll get it.  I told her about the product.  Not bad.”  “That’s all you got?”  “Well, it could work.  But, it takes a lot of money to start up a business.  And you’re broke.”  “Thanks for the positivity.  I’m going to get a prototype made.  You’re going to have to test it out for me.”  “We’ll see.”  I already knew from the little time I spent brainstorming about the idea that it was going to be a long process to get the product on the market.  But, I didn’t know it would be so difficult to get people to buy into the idea.  I knew it was a good idea and people would realize it; they just needed something tangible to look at.  I absolutely hate doing research but knew I had to find a manufacturer to make a sample.  This is going to suck . . .

Continue to Toilet Alarm Clock – Part 2 . . .

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I’m interested to hear from you about your college experience.  Did you also have hilarious roommates?

Post your responses here in the comments section, on twitter, on facebook, or within the MadCap facebook group!  Thanks, I look forward to discussing this with you!

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Waiting at the Doorstep

(Posted in Daily Chronicles)

Yesterday, I rushed to the mailbox like a kid expecting Santa Claus.  The long awaited day had finally come; the delivery of the sample.  I’m on the cusp of being welcomed inside;  I will no longer have to be waiting at the doorstep.  My goal was almost complete.  I could almost taste the round of Big Bourbon that The Exec was to going to have to buy for our bet.

Tearing open the package like a rabid animal, I sensed that all of my frustration from the past couple months could finally be let out.  All of the struggle was worth it.  The countless hours of research,brainstorming, phone conferences, hundreds of emails, traveling, and thousands of dollars were suddenly paying off with each tear. And, oh yeah, some redemption for getting royally screwed by the Fox Bros. (I’ll get to this story later).

Damnit, this thing is harder to open than those stupid plastic packages for action figures.  It was sealed extra tight because it had been sent from a world away.  It boggled my mind that a couple days ago my sample was being crafted in a Chinese factory 8,000 miles away and now it was in my hands.  Fascinating times we live in. (We’ll be discussing this in the next post).

All of the mounting anticipation and difficulty of the package just added salt to the wound after I saw the sample.  It was terrible.  Not even close to being ready for the market.  There really is some universal law that everything has to be difficult, isn’t there?  We have come so far but are still so far away.  Now, I had to contact my consultants and be like the guy at Subway bitching about not getting enough salami on his sandwich.  This isn’t acceptable!  I hate being that guy.  But, it is a role you have to fulfill if you want to produce a quality product that people will buy.  I think. 

Of course, my consultant was positive as usual.  It takes a couple runs of samples to get it right.  The next one will be market ready.  I get that, but I can’t keep forking over money for crappy samples.  The budget is running dangerously low.  I am convinced, after these past couple months, that being successful in whatever field of business, half of it is being able to spin things. The ability to deflect dissatisfaction and spin a positive  solution is an invaluable skill to have.  Especially when dealing with clients.  Every client presents their own sets of demands, vision, and budget for what they want from you.  Being able to absorb their frustration and presenting a “its no so bad” speech seems key.

I thoroughly explained what needed to change.  Okay, great.  I’m telling you the next sample will be magnificent.  We’ll see.  Back to the waiting game.  Great, Madam Moola is going to be pissed . . . (that’ll make sense later on).

The guy who answered the door now looks confused and is asking who I am.  With my shoulders hunched, I respond “still just the Madcap.”  The door closes.  But, it seems as though he left it ajar for some reason . . .

Continue to The Brothers Who Stand A Century Apart . . .

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Have you ever been eagerly awaiting something and then were highly disappointed?  Please comment!

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In Bloom

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

(Continued from The Christening Of The MadCap)

A wave of excitement was crashing down on me as I dashed through the night back to my place.  This is it, I finally have something tangible.  The steady onslaught of warm impulses shooting through my body were heightening the urgency to get the idea written down.  I wasn’t exactly in the ideal mindset for remembering specific thoughts.  My boiling anxiousness took a hold of my legs and injected them with a shot of nitrous.  As I was jogging staggering through the street, I received some much needed reassurance for my second-guessing mind.

A group of ladies were crossing the street.  Wowww, they could really use it.  As I was shamelessly patting myself on the back for the idea, my trance was broken by a friendly greeting.  Want to take a picture, it’ll last longer?  I tipped my hat, “sorry”!  I’m a complete idiot.  Hmm, interesting thing to note.  Girls spend hours getting dressed up before they go out.  One would think that they do this to stand out.  But, if you happen to be looking in their direction for too long, you better prepare to get yelled at.  There must be some sort of window-of-time you can look at a person rule that I’m unaware of.  Nonetheless, this tidbit should definitely be incorporated into the concept.  It has to look good, but not cause anyone to stare at them; no matter what.  Damnit, why couldn’t I thought of something for guys . . .

I finally made it back to my place.  What the . . . no one ever locks the door.  I reached in my pocket for my key; wasn’t there.  This can’t be happening.  I frantically paced around in a circle, contemplating my options.  Fully aware of my brain’s sub par capability of retaining any thought for more than 5 minutes, I quickly accepted the first solution that came to mind.  I took off my shirt and wrapped it around my hand.  Tyson Time.  I shattered the glass, reached in, and unlocked the door.  I stood in disbelief that I now knew how to break into a house if I ever hit rock bottom.  Putting my shirt back on, I strangely felt like a G.  I’m just kidding, the door was actually wide open when I showed up.  Gotcha.  However, I really did trip on my way up the stairs.  The combination of running and beer gave me a head rush.

Mission accomplished.  I got pen to paper.  This idea will forever live on you Mr. Sticky Note.  I tacked it to the wall so there wasn’t any chance of losing it.  My subconscious in these situations really deserves a round of applause.  It identifies that it is dealing with a dunce and sets up necessary measures to avoid disasters.  Without it, I’d probably wake up on some random persons couch to them screaming.

Ah, what a relief.  I need to get someone’s opinion on this . . . I glanced at the clock and saw it was past 2am.  That’s alright, it’s Thirsty Thursday, who wouldn’t be up right now?  I dialed my sisters number.  It’s a fair argument that she got shafted by getting me as a brother.  What do you want?  You won’t believe what happened tonight.  Did you get kicked out of school?  Nooo . . . I came up with a brilliant idea.  Yeah, just like all the others right.  No seriously, this is something girls would buy.  Are you f****** serious, this is why you called me?  I have to go to work in 5 hours a******!  Damn, that was a a****** move on my part.  But, she hadn’t hung up yet.  Sorrrry, listen real quick.  I disclosed the privileged information to her.  Isn’t that something you would buy?  Sure.  Sooo, you’re telling me there’s a chance!?  Yeah. I hate you.  She hung up.  I gave a Tiger Woods fist pump.  I have a chance, that’s all I need.

I slumped into my bed with a grin on my face.  The best inventions are the ones that solve a problem.  That’s exactly what I got.  I instantly thought of the CNBC profile of the 1 800 Got Junk story.  The CEO of the company stated that he got the idea for the service when he was in a drive-thru at a McDonald’s and saw a pick up truck with junk piled in it’s bed.  He theorized that there had to be a better way for people to get rid of their junk.  In bloom, a multimillion dollar business.

As I was laying there, finally breathing normally after all the running, I started to realize my recent actions provided yet another example of my idiocy.  I could have just typed the idea into my cell and still been at the party. 

I squinted at the post-it on the wall and crossed my fingers that I would be able to decipher it in the morning.  Take note, subconscious.

Continue to Toilet Alarm Clock – Part1 . . .

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Have you ever been in a rush to get something important written down?  Please comment!

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The Christening of the MadCap

(Posted in Muddled Memories)

The Night It Became Practical:

The hourglass overseeing his cozy charade had only a few specs of sand remaining.

Crumpled paper that once had illustrious ideas written on it filled the trash can next to his conjuring chair.

It was begrudgingly the time to call a seize fire with his imagination.

With his cap in hand, he went to join the crowd.

Defeat weighed down his presence,

even the guy doing a keg stand could sense it.

His wondering eyes ventilated his broken spirit.

The cap grew heavier in his grasp and fell to the ground.

While grabbing the damned thing, a girl caught his attention.

A faint flame began to take shape.

A scene from his memory bank jolted to center stage.

The flame began to vehemently sizzle.

His eyes frantically searched the room.

Synapses began to rapidly fire.

A surprise attack ensued.

The sand in the hourglass started trickling into the empty end.

He put his cap on and departed in pursuit of a pen.

Continue to In Bloom . . .


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The Exec – Part 1: A Nightcap with the Madcap

(Posted in The Exec)

Pull up a seat my friend.  What’ll ya have?  I’ll get this one.  I’m August Chimera, nice to meet you.  What do I do . . . ?  Well, it’s an interesting time for me right now, to say the least.  I graduated from college a couple months ago and am starting a company in an industry I know next to nothing about.  I agree it’s crazy, but I always have been a bit of a madcap.

Well, I am forming a company to sell a product that I conceptualized during my senior year.  I just met you friend, I can’t tell you exactly what the product is.  Maybe further down the line I can . . . you seem trustworthy.  I’ve got to keep it sub rosa until I have the product ready to sell.  You see, I’m just a roadrunner in a desert full of coyotes, I have to tread cautiously.  There are products on the market that are maybe 50, 60% like mine, but nothing exactly like it.  If one of the big companies caught wind of my concept, I’d be royally screwed.

Well, alright.  I can tell you that the primary target for the product is girls in college. Your right, it is a big market.  Well,  I know college girls will want the product because that is where I came up with the idea.  Staggering around at a party, the idea hit me.  I put a couple muddled observations together and realized the potential the product has.  Yeah, I do realize that everyone thinks they have a million dollar idea, but I’ve got to try.

You know, the famous author Hubert Selby admitted that he started to write because he feared he would die before he accomplished anything.  Yeah, I know I’m way too young to be thinking like that but its motivation to see this project through to the end.  I want to be able to showcase at least one of my ideas before I kick the beer can.

Business plan . . . well I don’t exactly have one.  Kind of like a educated guess, I’m educated winging it.  I’m good at trucking along half knowing what the hell I’m doing.  It’s an acquired skill from all the years of figuring out the parameters to achieving the bare minimum in school.  I disagree.  The lack of business plan hasn’t left me like a chicken with its head cut off.  I’ve got everything together up here.  I’ve also got some people in my corner.  It’s funny the things in life you have to do to make things happen. After a long search, I finally found some reliable consultants.  Upon disclosing my idea to them, I oddly thought of Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire.  I had to depend on the kindness of strangers.

I’m putting together a website to sell the product on.  No need to hire anyone to do that, I’m going to build it.  No, I don’t know any of your secret mumbo jumbo codes but I bought a web design book.  Yeah, I’ll be able to pick it up, I’m a quick learner.  How hard could it be?  It might seem like I’m feeding you a bunch of bull, but you’ll see.  Mark it down . . . 6 weeks. In that time, the product will be mass produced and there will be a lot of buzz about the product.  Trust me, I know what I’m going to do.  That’s exactly what I’m planning on doing, don’t try to take credit.  I am going to launch a teaser campaign and generate interest.  Let’s see, around October 10th we’ll say, the site will be live and selling the product.  Alright, a friendly wager.  Winner gets a round of big bourbon.

What is going to get me from this in- flux state to heading a company and selling the product is my perseverance. My faith in the products potential.  My desperation to achieve something.  You can’t embody all of that in a plan.  You carry that on your shoulders and outlet it in your actions.  That’s going to be the fun part and where I’m going to be front and center.  I know exactly how I am going to market the product.  That was my major.  I know what works and what doesn’t.  No, I never have worked on an actual ad campaign, I just entered the real world remember. That’s a current trend that needs to be put to rest; people not believing you or wanting to hire you unless you have already come up with something amazing.  What happened to appreciating raw talent and good ideas?  Really . . . no way.  Fancy that, you’re an ad exec.  Now I get the Mr. skeptic shtick.  Let’s be sure to keep in touch so you can see the benefit of taking a leap of faith in someone.  I’d be forever grateful if you did that.  You spreading the word about my campaign would help out tremendously.  Don’t look now, but check out that girl over there.  In the red.  She could really use my product right about now.  Cheers to her and good ideas.  Clink.

Continue to A Moral Formal, Madcap Welcome . . .

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Have you ever randomly met someone who helped change your life?  Please comment!

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